Here's What Happened When Two Teens Visited The Cabin Without their iPhones

By Kevin Kempskie, EHMI Board Member

Usually when I bring guys on trips to the Cabin, the 4-hour drive from Massachusetts is quite often filled with great conversation that comes naturally. But with two college sophomores – my son Kyle and his friend Alex – it took effort on my part to keep any conversation going at all.

My questions about their lives, their plans, and their dreams were answered mostly with matter-of-fact responses that lacked depth and feeling. The slightly delayed replies, the monotone in their voices gave away their distractedness. They were acting like most guys their age - tethered to a smartphone...

I was beginning to dread the prospect of this continuing through the weekend.

“What are you guys looking at so much on your phones these days?” I asked, in a resigned and almost frustrated tone.

This question actually got them speaking more, but in a language I could hardly understand and about people and topics that were alien to my 49-year-old sensibilities.

After telling me about the Snaps, Tweets, Tik-Toks, YouTube vids, podcasts, and Instagram stories that kept them constantly scrolling; the people they followed, the topics that got them laughing, debating, or fuming – it was clear these guys needed a social media detox.

The information overload that Generation Z experiences – if left to their own devices, literally – is going to make for a staggering study in mass psychology one of these days.

And as they continued to indulge my curiosity, the boys were admitting that it was a state of existence that didn’t sit right with them.

“Sounds like you guys could use a break from all that,” I said. “Good thing the cell reception up at The Cabin sucks…”

I lied about that, of course, justifying in my mind that it would be for their own good. But I couldn’t keep up the lie.

“Actually, the cell reception up there is great. But why not leave the phones behind?”

It was a challenge they both scoffed at initially, then took up in the spirit of a shared experiment.

“I’ll do it if you do it,” they each said.

At the trailhead off Victory Road, the anxiousness was palpable, as they tucked the iPhones into the glovebox of my SUV and walked away from them. They joked about the stories they’d miss and the streaks that would be broken. Within 10 minutes of the hike, they seemed visibly lighter – relieved of some invisible burden. It’s a cliché about the therapeutic benefits of being outside in nature, but for these young denizens of the iPhone Generation, it was clear it was providing the medicine they needed.

The conversation on the hike came much easier and dare I say, natural. Their curiosity about the mountain and how the trails were maintained. The history of The Cabin and its original owner. A noticeable shift in the depth of the conversations that went from talking sports, politics, and celebrity gossip – to issues of the heart and about the heavy responsibilities of being a man. Unsure whether they have what it takes to measure up.

At The Cabin itself, we took in the vastness of those mountain views; the sun and the breeze; the endless trees and the quiet in which it held us. It makes the mind relax and unwinds the tension of expectation on our lives. I grilled up three ribeye steaks while the two friends found a chess board and a deck of cards.

At this point, Kyle and Alex had forgotten about what they had left behind at the bottom of the mountain. Instead, they were finding a pace of living that was the kind of thing human minds were really meant for. Presence in the moment and in conversation. No bells, bings, or vibrations to tempt their attention away from the real and beautiful life right in front of them. I would bet that it even did something to make room in their mental headspace for their friendship to grow and deepen.

And less than 24 hours later, we were back at the SUV and the boys reached for their phones with the same glee of a deprived smoker when they get to light up again after a long delay. But the 4-hour drive home was different this time, not least of which both Kyle and Alex came down from that mountain with more clarity and caution about their smartphone and social media addiction. They even talked about putting limits on their daily app use.

I pray that tiny mustard seed planted in their minds grows and expands into even greater awareness and self-control.

That’s the “magic” of The Cabin and other places like it. If even for just a mere 24 hours up and away from the routine pace of crazy that we each run our lives whether as students, professionals, parents, caregivers, business owners, or pastors – there is a hunger inside us that craves a reprieve.